I have this great friend named Meghan. We’ve shared a lot together in the last eight or more years– she’s witnessed many ups and downs in my roller coaster of life, specifically the formative years knows as “The College Years” and the “Post-College Years.” Typically, we bond over hours of meandering through South Coast Plaza and Fashion Island and then grabbing sushi at our favorite rotating sushi bar (Kura Sushi in Newport Beach!). We discuss a lot while together, both deep and personal to everyday and frivolous, and recently while discussing my plans to look for my birth parents she said, “That says so much about where you are now. You are happy and settled.”
And I am happy and settled. I am me. I like myself. I’m comfortable with myself. I am ok with myself. I am who I am– just me.
With that said, I’m not looking to “complete” myself by finding my birth mother or birth father. I’m not looking to find another mother or father figure– I have a wonderful mother and father already. I’m not looking to add another family to share holidays and vacations with– my husband and I have enough stuff planned out each year with our own families. I’m not looking to intrude on their lives and demand them to stop everything that they are doing and give me all of their attention– I was an only child that had plenty of attention as a kid and my husband gives me tons of his attention everyday now. And I’m not looking to build a deep friendship or relationship with my birth parents at this time. I’d just like to know a little bit more, maybe meet them if they are open to that, ask a few questions, and maybe, eventually, should contact be established, be a little closer than just facebook friends.
And I’m settled– my husband, Chris, and I are are settled. We’re a classic modern love story– we met on eharmony. Well, maybe our beginning isn’t exactly “classic” but we’re modern when you consider we met online. I’ll get to that later when I gush about our love in a future post– sappy, I know.
I’m ready to open the door. It could be really amazing, it could be heart-breaking, or it could just be me mailing in a notice that I’m open for communication and never hearing anything back– ever. I’m ok with any one of those conclusions– it is what it is, and I’m happy, settled, and ready to open the door.